Dancing With the Stars? Not so much.

My obsession with dancing began in the 5th grade. It might have begun even earlier than that, come to think of it. I remember my Uncle Dave babysitting me in the late 1970's, teaching me how to disco in the living room when my parents went away for a weekend. He was the coolest uncle ever, and I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, learning to dance so fancy. (By the way, I still think he's the coolest uncle ever.)

You can only imagine my delight, then, when the popular show Solid Gold debuted in 1980. I didn't just love the Solid Gold Dancers, I wanted to BE a Solid Gold Dancer. They were soooo thin and beautiful and shiny. The way they danced around to the hot 1980's music made me so envious. And I knew I had what it took to be a dancer. After all, I had created all kinds of fabulous dance routines in my basement to the likes of Donna Summer, the Bee Gees, Irene Cara (remember her??), Kool and the Gang, and KC and the Sunshine Band.

Since I didn't really have any money, being only 12 and all, I couldn't afford to buy any cassette tapes. (You may remember cassette tapes - they followed the 8-track cartridge as the more advanced way to listen to music without a turntable.) I did, however, have a father who loved to tape music and always had blank cassettes on hand. So I did what every other thrifty 12-year-old of the day did, and that was wait patiently all day by my radio with my tape recorder ready to roll. When one of the songs played that I wanted to tape, I just held the recorder up to the speaker and hit record. Admittedly not the most efficient way to record music, but nonetheless, it afforded me the ability to have my very own "mix" tape that I could use at any time. Technology sure has changed, hasn't it?

Despite having all the best dance tunes and a basement to use freely, I never did take a single formal dance lesson, instead choosing singing as my musical outlet. But I never stopped yearning to be a dancer. The closest I came was being a cheerleader and doing a dance routine during half time at the basketball games. Not quite the same, I know, but for 4 minutes once a week, I got to at least pretend.

Fast forward to adulthood, and I still have that little girl in me who would love to be a dancer. So when I decided to embark on my big weightloss journey, I knew that I would need various workouts to hold my interest. Dance videos seemed like the perfect option. Since I love Dancing With the Stars, I was delighted to discover they had put out a dance workout DVD - all for just $9.95 at Walmart. I figured, how hard can it be? It's only a workout video.

Famous last words. It's HARD. And the skinny, smiley, way-too-happy instructors make it look sooooooo easy. They appear weightless as they bounce about, kick-ball-changing around the dance floor, barely even developing a flush. I, on the other hand, keep tripping over my feet, running out of breath, missing every other step, and looking like some kind of clown who's been drinking.

Oh well. My comfort is that I have no witnesses but the dog, and occasionally my husband who normally hides out to avoid the debacle. Maybe it's just more practice that I need. After all, practice makes perfect, right???